Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Weed Violation

This summer my main squeeze, Sandy, and I purchased a new house.  This particular house came with a 38 page rule book, formerly known as the CC&R's.  I perused it quickly, noting that the only permissible fencing is white vinyl fencing- aka stupidest, least useable fence ever.  The makers of vinyl fences obviously don't have children.  Didn't anyone tell them fences are like trees, they are made for climbing.


Anyhoo, our new neighborhood has a lovely little HOA that we get to send our year dues to.  They even have fancy smancy meetings at the library.  My hubby couldn't wait to attend our first meeting....I, however, wanted to know if we could get the three bullet point version.  Recognizing that my humor can be lost on my man, I decided to attend my first HOA meeting.  Here's a few tidbits I learned:

1.  Weed Violation.  For a girl born to teenage parents, a weed violation can be easily misinterpreted.  Apparently my neighbors are not, in fact, growing weed.  They apparently grow weeds, and our HOA sends the police to give a friendly warning that lawn maintenance is a non negotiable.

2.  Quorums.....?  After an engaging meeting that required NO VOTING, one intense man wanted to know if we had enough homeowners for a quorum.   Fancy I tell you.  For  the next ten minutes, we listened to various individuals argue about having a quorum to vote on a proxy about NOTHING.

3.  Sprinklers......apparently they are offensive to evening walkers.

4.  Asphalt, also very offensive.

5.  I too can run for president.   I'll be working on my slogan. 

All in all, I loved the HOA meeting.  Poor Sandy had to give me "angry eyebrows" a time or two.  I couldn't help but occasionally giggle.  I think it's possible, maybe even probable, that I am not old enough or refined enough to live in my hood.

Till we meet again.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Had to giggle. Don't live in Alaska. Weed is legal if you grow your own. Can't buy it...gotta grow it!