Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Handing Over the Finances

   Handing over the checkbook.  Yes folks, that's the plan, I will hand over my checkbook to my husband.  Well, at least I'm heading in that direction, I think.

   You see, we've had almost 15 years of wedded bliss.  Okay, that's not quite right.  We've been married almost 15 years, the first three and a half were sheer hell, the next two were sort of okay, the next eight years were pretty nifty, and the last two have been heavenly.

  Needless to say, for the last fifteen years I have been the ruler of the checkbook.  How did this happen you ask?  Well have I got a story for you:

   The year was 1996 and my studly spouse and I were getting close to our nuptials.  Now, we were quite mature, followed all proper dating etiquette and everyone around us could see what a darling match we were.  Okay, not quite true, but we were a darling match.

    One night shortly before our wedding Sandy notified me he would be taking over the finances and would let me know what my budget was.

    "Excuse me?  Come again, sir?  You're giving me a budget?  I think not." 

 Age 18

     Sandy, ever the stubborn gentleman, replied (with something close to this), "I WILL be handling our finances."

   Those are fighting words, if ever a girl heard them. 

     At that moment, I chose the hill I would die on.  Finances.  We battled round and round, but I did not waver, no I did not.  I won that battle.  Stupid, stupid girl. 

   As a result of winning the finance war I was awarded fifteen years of financial stress, frustration, and aggravation.  I'm pretty sure that wasn't the reward I was looking for.  I wanted the money and control. 

   Now we are fifteen years into this thing we call love, and I am TIRED of handling the checkbook.  I want Sandy to handle the checkbook, at least I think I do.  I want to release control in the area of finances, and I trust my husband to take care of us.  It's funny, I thought I was doing myself a favor by insisting on ruling the family finances, but really I was hurting my marriage and punishing myself.  Bizarre. 

   It's funny how life is like that.  We can choose to die on the stupidest hills.  We can chose to dishonor our spouses and fight the wrong fight, while forgetting to fight the good fight.  I was so worried about not being controlled by others that I started my marriage on the wrong foot.  And quite honestly, I did not know how to be a "good" wife much less a godly wife.

   I wish I knew then what I know now, that God calls me to be a godly wife.  I am to serve Him, and I am to be submissive to my husband.  Eph. 5: 22-24 says, "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church of which He is the Savior.  Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything."

     I want the next fifteen years and beyond to be different.  I want to be different.   I want to release control in the area of finances and be submissive to my sweet husband.  Now, all I have to do is pry my hands off the checkbook and hand it over to Sandy. 

Blessings to you and yours!


Kelsey Haag said...

Mrs. Kay, you are so inspiring! I love your words of wisdom/knowledge! You set such an amazing example with your humility in this area of finances and marriage, and the things you learned from it will be tucked away into my "For Future Marriage" brain folder :] Thank you! <3

Debi said...

A sweet post. You'll be glad you did!
Bless you~